{
    "id": 2567,
    "date": "2021-05-18T18:40:07",
    "date_gmt": "2021-05-18T13:10:07",
    "guid": {
        "rendered": "http:\/\/emindit.com\/?page_id=2567"
    },
    "modified": "2023-11-07T00:02:26",
    "modified_gmt": "2023-11-06T18:32:26",
    "slug": "communication-with-young-people",
    "status": "publish",
    "type": "post",
    "link": "https:\/\/myemotionalfirstaid.org\/en\/communication-with-young-people\/",
    "title": {
        "rendered": "Communication with young people"
    },
    "content": {
        "rendered": "<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-page\" data-elementor-id=\"2567\" class=\"elementor elementor-2567\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-e3d6595 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"e3d6595\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-no\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-76c7966\" data-id=\"76c7966\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-a770a4b elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"a770a4b\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<style>\/*! elementor - v3.21.0 - 15-04-2024 *\/\n.elementor-widget-text-editor.elementor-drop-cap-view-stacked .elementor-drop-cap{background-color:#69727d;color:#fff}.elementor-widget-text-editor.elementor-drop-cap-view-framed .elementor-drop-cap{color:#69727d;border:3px solid;background-color:transparent}.elementor-widget-text-editor:not(.elementor-drop-cap-view-default) .elementor-drop-cap{margin-top:8px}.elementor-widget-text-editor:not(.elementor-drop-cap-view-default) .elementor-drop-cap-letter{width:1em;height:1em}.elementor-widget-text-editor .elementor-drop-cap{float:left;text-align:center;line-height:1;font-size:50px}.elementor-widget-text-editor .elementor-drop-cap-letter{display:inline-block}<\/style>\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Adolescent\u00a0 years can be difficult for many families. Young people may develop ideas, values and beliefs that are different to those of their parents. This is part of the normal process of moving towards independence. Parents may struggle with how much independence they should allow their children at different ages and in different circumstances.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There is no one-size-fits-all solution for this situation which every parent will face . Each young person is an individual and needs different advice. Communication with teenagers is different from communicating with younger children and can cause conflict and stress.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you follow some simple tips, it may help improve communication with your teenager. However, always seek professional advice if you are concerned about your family relationships.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2966632 elementor-widget elementor-widget-toggle\" data-id=\"2966632\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"toggle.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<style>\/*! elementor - v3.21.0 - 15-04-2024 *\/\n.elementor-toggle{text-align:start}.elementor-toggle .elementor-tab-title{font-weight:700;line-height:1;margin:0;padding:15px;border-bottom:1px solid #d5d8dc;cursor:pointer;outline:none}.elementor-toggle .elementor-tab-title .elementor-toggle-icon{display:inline-block;width:1em}.elementor-toggle .elementor-tab-title .elementor-toggle-icon svg{margin-inline-start:-5px;width:1em;height:1em}.elementor-toggle .elementor-tab-title .elementor-toggle-icon.elementor-toggle-icon-right{float:right;text-align:right}.elementor-toggle .elementor-tab-title .elementor-toggle-icon.elementor-toggle-icon-left{float:left;text-align:left}.elementor-toggle .elementor-tab-title .elementor-toggle-icon .elementor-toggle-icon-closed{display:block}.elementor-toggle .elementor-tab-title .elementor-toggle-icon .elementor-toggle-icon-opened{display:none}.elementor-toggle .elementor-tab-title.elementor-active{border-bottom:none}.elementor-toggle .elementor-tab-title.elementor-active .elementor-toggle-icon-closed{display:none}.elementor-toggle .elementor-tab-title.elementor-active .elementor-toggle-icon-opened{display:block}.elementor-toggle .elementor-tab-content{padding:15px;border-bottom:1px solid #d5d8dc;display:none}@media (max-width:767px){.elementor-toggle .elementor-tab-title{padding:12px}.elementor-toggle .elementor-tab-content{padding:12px 10px}}.e-con-inner>.elementor-widget-toggle,.e-con>.elementor-widget-toggle{width:var(--container-widget-width);--flex-grow:var(--container-widget-flex-grow)}<\/style>\t\t<div class=\"elementor-toggle\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-toggle-item\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div id=\"elementor-tab-title-4341\" class=\"elementor-tab-title\" data-tab=\"1\" role=\"button\" aria-controls=\"elementor-tab-content-4341\" aria-expanded=\"false\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-toggle-icon elementor-toggle-icon-left\" aria-hidden=\"true\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-toggle-icon-closed\"><i class=\"fas fa-caret-right\"><\/i><\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-toggle-icon-opened\"><i class=\"elementor-toggle-icon-opened fas fa-caret-up\"><\/i><\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-toggle-title\" tabindex=\"0\">Issues that can affect communication with teenagers<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\n\t\t\t\t\t<div id=\"elementor-tab-content-4341\" class=\"elementor-tab-content elementor-clearfix\" data-tab=\"1\" role=\"region\" aria-labelledby=\"elementor-tab-title-4341\"><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Adolescence is a time of rapid change, not just for the young person but for the parents too. It might be hard to let go sometimes, but parents need to recognise that:<\/span><\/p><ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A child\u2019s job is to grow up and become an independent adult. As a parent, you need to help young people through this process.<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Decisions can now be made together. Try to discuss issues to reach an outcome that you and your teenager can both accept.<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Young people may have viewpoints that are different from yours or may take up activities that you don\u2019t understand. Try to see this as a good thing. They are learning to be their own person.<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You will always feel responsible for your child\u2019s wellbeing and safety, no matter how old they are. When children reach their teenage years, they start to make their own decisions. Sometimes they make the wrong ones. Try to be supportive and not criticise. They will (hopefully!) learn valuable lessons from their mistakes.<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">During this time of constant change, both parents and young people need to take time to care for themselves.<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You need to show you value your teenager and their uniqueness \u2013 show them your unconditional love.<\/span><\/li><\/ul><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-toggle-item\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div id=\"elementor-tab-title-4342\" class=\"elementor-tab-title\" data-tab=\"2\" role=\"button\" aria-controls=\"elementor-tab-content-4342\" aria-expanded=\"false\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-toggle-icon elementor-toggle-icon-left\" aria-hidden=\"true\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-toggle-icon-closed\"><i class=\"fas fa-caret-right\"><\/i><\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-toggle-icon-opened\"><i class=\"elementor-toggle-icon-opened fas fa-caret-up\"><\/i><\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-toggle-title\" tabindex=\"0\">General communication tips with teenagers<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\n\t\t\t\t\t<div id=\"elementor-tab-content-4342\" class=\"elementor-tab-content elementor-clearfix\" data-tab=\"2\" role=\"region\" aria-labelledby=\"elementor-tab-title-4342\"><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The most important thing is to keep the lines of communication open. Suggestions include:<\/span><\/p><ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Listen more than you speak \u2013 we should spend more\u00a0 time listening than talking. This is especially important when talking to teenagers, who may tell us more if we are silent long enough to give them the opportunity.<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Make time to spend together \u2013 teenagers are often busy with school, friends and other interests, but you can have a conversation with them over breakfast and dinner. Offer to take them to or pick them up from places; this will provide other opportunities for conversations.<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Give them privacy \u2013 teenagers need their own space. For example, knock before you go into their room.<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Keep up with their interests \u2013 listen to their music, watch their television shows with them and turn up to their sports practise sessions. Continue to take an active interest in their life.<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Be a loving parent \u2013 adolescence is a time when young people often struggle with their changing sense of identity and need to feel loved. Tell them often. Demonstrate your love using whatever physical contact they are comfortable with. Celebrate their achievements, forgive their mistakes, listen to them when they have a problem and show interest in how they plan to solve it. Support them in their problem solving. Feeling included and special is vital for every young person\u2019s sense of positive self-esteem.<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Have fun \u2013 make time for leisure and laughter. Good feelings help to build good rapport.<\/span><\/li><\/ul><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-46dadab elementor-widget elementor-widget-toggle\" data-id=\"46dadab\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"toggle.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-toggle\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-toggle-item\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div id=\"elementor-tab-title-7421\" class=\"elementor-tab-title\" data-tab=\"1\" role=\"button\" aria-controls=\"elementor-tab-content-7421\" aria-expanded=\"false\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-toggle-icon elementor-toggle-icon-left\" aria-hidden=\"true\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-toggle-icon-closed\"><i class=\"fas fa-caret-right\"><\/i><\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-toggle-icon-opened\"><i class=\"elementor-toggle-icon-opened fas fa-caret-up\"><\/i><\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-toggle-title\" tabindex=\"0\">Negative communication with teenagers<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\n\t\t\t\t\t<div id=\"elementor-tab-content-7421\" class=\"elementor-tab-content elementor-clearfix\" data-tab=\"1\" role=\"region\" aria-labelledby=\"elementor-tab-title-7421\"><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Conflict is inevitable when people with different views live together so the occasional clash with your teenager is normal and to be expected. However, ongoing conflict can undermine the relationship between a parent and a young person.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Negative communication is a common cause of chronic conflict. Examples of negative communication include nagging, harsh criticism or \u2018stand over\u2019 tactics such as yelling to force compliance.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It\u2019s not always easy to recognise negative communication. For example, well-meaning parents may criticise because they want their child to try harder. You are using negative communication if:<\/span><\/p><ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The conversation rapidly deteriorates into nagging, yelling or fighting<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You feel angry, upset, rejected, blamed or unloved<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The issue under dispute doesn\u2019t ever improve.<\/span><\/li><\/ul><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-toggle-item\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div id=\"elementor-tab-title-7422\" class=\"elementor-tab-title\" data-tab=\"2\" role=\"button\" aria-controls=\"elementor-tab-content-7422\" aria-expanded=\"false\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-toggle-icon elementor-toggle-icon-left\" aria-hidden=\"true\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-toggle-icon-closed\"><i class=\"fas fa-caret-right\"><\/i><\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-toggle-icon-opened\"><i class=\"elementor-toggle-icon-opened fas fa-caret-up\"><\/i><\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-toggle-title\" tabindex=\"0\">Turn negative communication into positive<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\n\t\t\t\t\t<div id=\"elementor-tab-content-7422\" class=\"elementor-tab-content elementor-clearfix\" data-tab=\"2\" role=\"region\" aria-labelledby=\"elementor-tab-title-7422\"><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You can change negative communication into positive communication. Suggestions include:<\/span><\/p><ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Negotiate how you communicate with each other. Work out strategies to improve your communication. Brainstorm or discuss solutions together.<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Select what is important to argue over. A basic guideline is that safety issues, like not getting into a car with a driver who has been drinking, are always worth fighting over. Other things, like cleaning up the messy bedroom, might be best to ignore \u2013 just keep the door shut!<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Offer constructive criticism. Acknowledge and celebrate their achievements. They will know themselves when they have got it wrong and don\u2019t need to be reminded by you.<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Set a good example by apologising when you\u2019re wrong.<\/span><\/li><\/ul><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-toggle-item\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div id=\"elementor-tab-title-7423\" class=\"elementor-tab-title\" data-tab=\"3\" role=\"button\" aria-controls=\"elementor-tab-content-7423\" aria-expanded=\"false\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-toggle-icon elementor-toggle-icon-left\" aria-hidden=\"true\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-toggle-icon-closed\"><i class=\"fas fa-caret-right\"><\/i><\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-toggle-icon-opened\"><i class=\"elementor-toggle-icon-opened fas fa-caret-up\"><\/i><\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-toggle-title\" tabindex=\"0\"> Update your opinion of their rights and freedomsToggle Title<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\n\t\t\t\t\t<div id=\"elementor-tab-content-7423\" class=\"elementor-tab-content elementor-clearfix\" data-tab=\"3\" role=\"region\" aria-labelledby=\"elementor-tab-title-7423\"><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You need to willingly give teenagers the right of more freedom when they are ready to behave responsibly. For every right they gain, there is a responsibility that goes with it. Suggestions include:<\/span><\/p><ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Establish reasonable house rules in consultation with your teenager. For example, decide together on an appropriate curfew for an evening out with friends.<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Be prepared to compromise when negotiating house rules with teenagers. (Try to give ground on the least important issues.)<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Stop and consider before you say \u2018no\u2019 to a request. Is your teenager now old enough or responsible enough for you to say \u2018yes\u2019 this time?<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you do say \u2018no\u2019, tell them why \u2013 but remember, the parental clich\u00e9 \u2018because I said so\u2019 is just asking for a fight! Give good reasons, such as using the safety argument.<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Help them to take care and responsibility for themselves. For example, talk about issues such as drink spiking or safe sex and talk about any concerns you both may have.<\/span><\/li><\/ul><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-toggle-item\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div id=\"elementor-tab-title-7424\" class=\"elementor-tab-title\" data-tab=\"4\" role=\"button\" aria-controls=\"elementor-tab-content-7424\" aria-expanded=\"false\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-toggle-icon elementor-toggle-icon-left\" aria-hidden=\"true\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-toggle-icon-closed\"><i class=\"fas fa-caret-right\"><\/i><\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-toggle-icon-opened\"><i class=\"elementor-toggle-icon-opened fas fa-caret-up\"><\/i><\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-toggle-title\" tabindex=\"0\">Listen more and talk less<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\n\t\t\t\t\t<div id=\"elementor-tab-content-7424\" class=\"elementor-tab-content elementor-clearfix\" data-tab=\"4\" role=\"region\" aria-labelledby=\"elementor-tab-title-7424\"><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Take the time to listen \u2013 you may be surprised how much teenagers will confide in you if they feel they are really being listened to. Suggestions include:<\/span><\/p><ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Really listen when they talk to you. For example, stop what you\u2019re doing, look them in the eye and don\u2019t interrupt.<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Avoid angry or impatient body language. For example, don\u2019t roll your eyes or sigh.<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Appreciate that your teenager has a different world view. Treat them as you would a friend and respect their opinions. They may have very well-thought-through opinions that are just different to yours.<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Use \u2018I\u2019 statements rather than \u2018you\u2019 statements. For example, don\u2019t say: \u2018You\u2019re so inconsiderate, you never tell me where you\u2019re going\u2019. Instead, say: \u2018If I don\u2019t know where you are, I worry about you\u2019.<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Avoid sarcasm, criticism and yelling.<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Don\u2019t assume or mind read. Listen.<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Young people will stop talking if you don\u2019t listen respectfully.<\/span><\/li><\/ul><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">According to teens here are some common <\/span>reasons for miscommunication<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> between you and your teen and some advice on how parents can communicate effectively with teens.<\/span><\/p><p>1.\u00a0<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Teens live in the present- <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It\u2019s essential to understand that at least some of what is going on here is a developmental thing. The pre-frontal cortex part of their brain linked to planning and scheduling, is still under construction in the teen years.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For adults, a child\u2019s behavior from two weeks ago is still relevant, but in the teen\u2019s perception, they have moved on. Two weeks ago might as well have been a year ago!<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Likewise, when we bring up the future, as in, \u201cHow are you going to get into college with grades like that?\u201d, it\u2019s falling on deaf ears. When you try to motivate a teen by referencing how their future selves can be improved, expect an eye-roll, or be told to back off.<\/span><\/p><h4>\u00a0<\/h4><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-toggle-item\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div id=\"elementor-tab-title-7425\" class=\"elementor-tab-title\" data-tab=\"5\" role=\"button\" aria-controls=\"elementor-tab-content-7425\" aria-expanded=\"false\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-toggle-icon elementor-toggle-icon-left\" aria-hidden=\"true\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-toggle-icon-closed\"><i class=\"fas fa-caret-right\"><\/i><\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-toggle-icon-opened\"><i class=\"elementor-toggle-icon-opened fas fa-caret-up\"><\/i><\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-toggle-title\" tabindex=\"0\">Parenting tip:<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\n\t\t\t\t\t<div id=\"elementor-tab-content-7425\" class=\"elementor-tab-content elementor-clearfix\" data-tab=\"5\" role=\"region\" aria-labelledby=\"elementor-tab-title-7425\"><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you want to communicate better, realise that your teen does not live on the same timeline as you do. You need to see the beauty in their vibrancy and\u00a0 join them in their timeline now and then.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If not, do your best to keep things concrete and in the here and now. Talk about this week and maybe next.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">2. Teens are ruled by emotions- <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In the adolescent years, teens are governed by the emotional structures of the brain housed in the amygdala.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Without a developed, rational prefrontal cortex to keep the amygdala in check, emotions run high.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Brain scans show us the impact that this \u201cvoice\u201d has on teens. When presented with a stimulus that is unremarkable in both children and adults, the teen amygdala lights up. Where we hear a chime, they hear a gong.<\/span><\/p><p>3. <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Teens are incredible observers and terrible interpreters- <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Teens notice subtle body language and change in tone, but because their brains are on high alert, they tend to misinterpret the meaning.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One parent said to her daughter, with maybe a hint of concern, \u201cWho is driving to the concert?\u201d and her daughter responded, \u201cWhy don\u2019t you trust me?!\u201d She detected something in her mother\u2019s tone, but she jumped to the worst conclusion.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Judgment speaks louder than any praise. By not being judgmental, parents can communicate with teens better.<\/span><\/p><p>4.<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Parents fail to make the transition from caregiver to coach- When kids are young, it\u2019s easy to communicate as an authority. You are the caregiver who protects them and teaches them how to be in the world.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But adolescence marks the beginning of a change in relationship, where your kids want independence and equality. When we communicate with teens as if they are young children, they may say things like, \u201cYou are such a control freak!\u201d Or, they may stop talking to us at all.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To avoid this communication trap, check yourself. Are you making assumptions about your teen without asking them to weigh in?<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If so, try framing your communication with phrases like, \u201cI\u2019m curious about your take on this.\u201d Or, instead of assuming they need your help on homework, you can ask, \u201cDo you need my help with anything?\u201d<\/span><\/p><p><b><\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">5. Parents ask the wrong questions- <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Some teens complain that the adults in their lives, from their parents to guidance counselors, often ask, \u201cAre you okay?\u201d They feel like something is wrong with them and their peers that they aren\u2019t seeing.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It&#8217;s probably that the\u00a0 Adults are stressed out, and that stress is passed along to their children without the parents even realizing it.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When a group of teens was asked what kinds of questions they want to be asked and here is a good answer: \u201cWhen I hear my mom talk to her friends, she asks questions that are related to what her friend said.\u201d<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Teens want to be conversed with, not probed. Asking the right questions will help parents communicate with teens better according to teens.<\/span><\/p><p>6.<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Parents forget what it\u2019s like to be an adolescent- <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0The desire to help and fix problems comes from the part of a parent who wants to protect. But to a teen, it\u2019s perceived as a lack of trust or faith.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If your teen is doing okay enough, but his ways are less than optimal, leave him be. You need to acknowledge that his approach is working for him right now.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Now that you know what causes communication problems with parents and teens, you can shift even one of these habits. Your teen is under construction in almost every way, so this is why people may suggest not to take their behavior personally.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Use a teen\u2019s ability to live in the moment to your advantage. If you are guilty of some of these communication misfires, it\u2019s not too late to change them. Two weeks from now, they won\u2019t remember your old ways!<\/span><\/p><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7e77a39 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"7e77a39\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<h4><strong>Professional help\/Counselling<\/strong><\/h4><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There are services available to help you and your teenager to work through difficult issues. Your doctor is a good starting point for information and referral.<\/span><\/p><h4><strong>Things to remember<\/strong><\/h4><ul><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Negative communication is a common cause of conflict between a parent and teenagers.<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Appreciate that your teenager has a different view of the world and respect their opinions.<\/span><\/li><li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Establish reasonable house rules in consultation with your teenager.<\/span><\/li><\/ul>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>",
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        "rendered": "<p>Adolescent\u00a0 years can be difficult for many families. Young people may develop ideas, values and beliefs that are different to those of their parents. This is part of the normal process of moving towards independence. Parents may struggle with how much independence they should allow their children at different ages and in different circumstances. There [&hellip;]<\/p>",
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